awake to light ::

today is the most beautiful day...
i awake to light
and step outside, this final day of december,
the quiet close of the year,
to find warmth.
hope.
full, so full, my spirit....pregnant, throbbing; i feel relief,
life
newly born
and becoming.


i inhale my coffee.
i fumble for language.


emerge.


shadow-tinted skin reflects memory of valley but i run, i run now; i wait on the Lord and he hears my cry and lifts me up like a child, cuddles me to heart-rhythms and lets the light of his countenance shine.


the world is new.


i rejoice


and reach for sacred.

   “ Awake, you who sleep,
      Arise from the dead,
      And Christ will give you light.”

Isaiah 9:2
The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who dwelt in the land of the shadow of death, upon them a light has shined.

journey ::

unfolding
this last moment
before time slips below the horizon and a new decade emerges with dawnlight.
it's very significant for me, this change, for many reasons. i welcome new and lay rest the old...thankful, always, even when relief slips down cheek in quiet tears.

a page turned, a chapter closed.
a volume complete, and a new one begun.

i am trying on skin....
looking for one to fit me for awhile.
too spread out, right now. i need to integrate all my spaces, safely, so that i reflect homeostasis. i need it to grow with me, to be fluid, living, organic, even as i love the living God and reflect Him. i need it to fully envelope who i am, as a woman...

too much to ask?
it feels like everything is 'wrong', right now. like a sweater, shrunk
like jeans too tight
and socks, slipping down.
it doesn't fit.
it isn't me.
and yet, who i am still is being sculpted by the Sculptor,
carved
and breathed into...
life.
the sacred life.
set apart and holy...
living, organic. dark and light.

and the living of it
is my journey.

boundaries ::

you know how sometimes you identify so precisely to something that even your bones rejoice? i read this quote today and instantly an incredible calm washed over me.

When we say no, or when we follow our dreams or true callings – people might be “disappointed” in our choices.

Allowing people their disappointment sets us free.
~ Christine Kane